Turn Around and Face the Monster

When we are afraid of something, we often turn away and refuse to look.  In looking away, the thing we fear swells, assisted by our imagination, by our projections, by our worst nightmares.  It grows out of proportion to reality, and as it grows, it begins to control us.  

But the thing we fear is rarely up to scale with this projection.  Imagine a child whose toys were left on the floor in such a way that a night-light casts a shadow of them on the wall that looks like a scary monster.  If only the child would notice the toys, notice that the monster is just a shadow ~ an illusion ~ and that the scary thing itself is nothing more than a little mess to be cleaned up.  

Even with the things in life that we fear the most ~ illness, death, loss, heartbreak, humiliation ~ the actuality is rarely (if ever) as scary as the shadows we make of them.

♥ ♥ ♥

Rafia Rebeck, MEd, MA, LPC, is trained in the Hakomi Method of Psychotherapy. She offers a warm, sincere, and safe approach for those who seek personal transformation through mindfulness. Please feel welcome to get in touch by contacting rafiarebeck@gmail.com.  If this blog postcard was meaningful for you, please feel free to share it with others who may benefit.

Grieving from the Inside Out: Part 1

This entry is the first in a two-part series called “Grieving from the Inside Out.”

For just a moment, right at the beginning, right when the ending becomes clear, when beginning and ending are holding hands and not yet ready to let go — the ending of what you love and the beginning of that long slow journey through heartbreak — you taste clarity.  It is momentary and precious and profoundly important, because without this glimmer, the descent into the necessary darkness would be unbearable.  I don’t know where it comes from, or where it goes, but there is a voice in that moment that whispers the eternal truth: “You are ok.”  You drink in that clarity because you have done this — grieving an unimaginable loss — enough times to know that the clarity is not yours to keep, not right now.  You have to let it go, because letting go is what is being asked of you.

♥ ♥ ♥

Rafia Rebeck, MEd, MA, LPC, is trained in the Hakomi Method of Psychotherapy. She offers a warm, sincere, and safe approach for those who seek personal transformation through mindfulness. Please feel welcome to get in touch by contacting rafiarebeck@gmail.com.  If this blog postcard was meaningful for you, please feel free to share it with others who may benefit.