Thwarted: When Life Doesn’t Go Your Way

A friend recently told me a story.  When her niece was 8 years old, the child was out at a restaurant with her family.  At some point during the meal, the child’s parents said “no” to something she had asked for, and with the type of sincerity and intensity of purpose that only a child can muster, she threw herself onto the floor and into a full-blown, kicking-and-screaming tantrum. She really, really wanted that thing.

And from her longing, and through her tears, she sobbed one of the most poignant sentences I’ve ever heard:  “I never always get everything I want all of the time!”

Who among us has not felt this way?  For me, the precision of this girl’s description of her agony ~ that life does not always, or often, deliver us exactly what we want ~ captures a tender aspect of the human predicament.  I can find this voice inside of myself.  Our expectation, our demand, that life give us what we want is a source of profound suffering.  However, if we take this truth as the Only Truth, we risk falling into the equally insufferable fallacy that we can never hope for anything from life.

A wise friend once captured the fragile balance ~ between our always-wanting and the sometimes-yes-sometimes-no of the universe: “Allow your longing to increase, for surely you can have some of what you want.”

♥ ♥ ♥

Rafia Rebeck, MEd, MA, LPC, is trained in the Hakomi Method of Psychotherapy. She offers a warm, sincere, and safe approach for those who seek personal transformation through mindfulness. Please feel welcome to get in touch by contacting  If this blog postcard was meaningful for you, please feel free to share it with others who may benefit.

When the quiet enters into you . . .

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA There are times in our lives that are meant for rest and incubation.  Sometimes the quiet comes in the depths of winter, and we surrender more willingly to the call to be internal. But sometimes the quiet comes in the full heat of summer, and we resist.  We must learn to trust that there is wisdom brewing.  Our bodies, hearts, minds, and spirits know what we need, and in times of drawing inward, we are integrating, enriching our beings with the vitality that will allow our natural creativity to take root.  In these windows of stillness, resting is your gift and your responsibility.  Taking this time will enable everything you long for to flow.  So relax.  As much as you can, simply relax.