The beauty of the rain

 

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I was driving in my car recently, thinking about how to understand the difference between pain and suffering, when it started to rain. I mean REALLY rain. It was torrential.  And windy.  And cold.  The wind was whipping the rain in every direction, so much so that it was hard to see very far.  Outside, in this pouring, driving rain, I saw a woman ~ soaked to the bone, running, gripping an umbrella that had been literally blown inside-out, every muscle in her face and body contracted in resistance to the rain.

And I thought to myself, “THIS is the difference between pain and suffering.”

. . . .Pain is getting soaked in a cold torrential downpour.  Suffering is gripping with tension to a broken, useless umbrella.

. . . Pain is unpleasant, uncomfortable, or unwanted experience.  Suffering is everything we do to avoid feeling pain.

. . . Pain is an inevitable. Suffering is optional.

My path to becoming a mindfulness-based therapist grew from an deepening understanding that all of our attempts to avoid pain actually lead to suffering, which is a great realization, but then, what’s the alternative?  Instead of avoiding and resisting our experience, we learn to be present to it. And this is the key to eliminating suffering because when are no longer resisting what is happening, there is space to be alive.  We realize that there is a wholeness inside of us that is vast and spacious enough to hold even the most painful experiences. We learn that we are so much bigger than our pain.  We learn to notice the beauty of the rain.

The undefended heart

undefended heart

The undefended heart is not fragile.  In fact, it is the opposite of fragile, because it welcomes and experiences the full impact of being human.  The undefended heart doesn’t hide from grief or despair, nor does it shield itself from joy.  It simply flows in the stream of What is Actually Happening.  The undefended heart is not at the mercy of life.  It knows to seek shelter in a thunderstorm and to draw a blanket around itself when the wind blows, but it does not run for cover in a soft spring rain or build a fortress to keep out the breeze.  The undefended heart knows that it is worthy of protection, but not at the expense of being fully alive.